


count your seconds and they'll catch the drift

by look_up



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 5+1 Things, F/F, Gen, Light Angst, each chapter focuses on a companion (mostly)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-10-30 01:51:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17819567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/look_up/pseuds/look_up
Summary: 5 times the Doctor let her companions explain something to her and 1 time she actually explained something to themaka the Doctor likes to pretend she doesn't know things sometimes





	1. if my heart is breaking, it’s one step toward making a mosaic kind of goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> title from "thumbnail" by louie zong ft. brian david gilbert!!
> 
> this is a very loose interpretation of 5+1 things but let me have fun ok
> 
> chapter title from "heartbreak in michael's" from let's make a music. the title is sadder than the chapter, dont worry

She’s doing it again.

 

See, the nice thing about new companions is that they don’t  _ know  _ her yet. Sure, they’re aware that she’s older ( _ so much older _ ) than she looks, and they know she’s an alien, but they don’t truly understand what it means. For example, that it means she’s been around humans for a while now.

 

So, they sometimes try to teach her about humans customs. And, because she finds it amusing, and because it clearly seems to make them happy to be the ones to teach  _ her _ something for once, she plays along.

 

(Whether or not she finds it nice to pretend she’s not as old and burdened as she is for a moment is irrelevant.)

 

And now she’s letting them teach her about human holidays. As if she doesn’t know about every single earth holiday throughout history and then some. The fact that she may have contributed to creating a few goes unmentioned. It hadn’t been her fault, not really, Yaz had looked so excited to teach her about Valentine’s Day, it would have been cruel to refuse. 

 

Which is why the Doctor was now sitting in the library with Yaz, listening to her explain how they celebrated Valentine’s Day when she was in primary school.

 

“And we’d all write little letters for everyone, and some years the teacher would bring candy, and when we were like, actually little, like 5 or 6, it was really nice and lovely, but then when I got to secondary school it wasn’t always nice ‘cause it’d often be a popularity contest instead of a celebration of love, which obviously wasn’t really fun… And sometimes the meaner kids would make fun of you if you didn’t get anything, and the really mean ones would pick on someone and send a fake letter or something, so it wasn’t really a nice holiday then…” As Yaz spoke about her life, the Doctor listened with rapt attention. She’d never tell the boys, but Yaz was her favourite. Of course, she loved them all, but she’d really clicked with her. And, well, she did have a type, she supposed. 

 

When Yaz moved on to the more historical part of the holiday, the Doctor begun having trouble paying attention. Not that she didn’t love listening to her friend, but she already knew all about the history, and she’d been sitting for a while — in silence at that — so just about anything was distracting her. When was the last time she’d read that book?

 

“Doctor, you still there?” Oops. 

 

“Yes, of course Yaz! Always there, you know, wouldn’t leave you alone or anythin’.” The Doctor answered quickly, trying to figure out how much she’d missed. This body was definitely worse at listening.

 

Yaz looked at her suspiciously. “So, d’you remember when the first Valentine’s day was, then?”

 

“The year 496”, the Doctor replied without thinking.

 

“Ah! I hadn’t even gotten to that yet! Were you just letting me talk for nothing?” Yaz’s disappointed tone made the Doctor wince. She hadn’t meant to hurt her. She really enjoyed spending time with Yaz, but she didn’t exactly love to think about a holiday that revolved around romantic relationship. Not with her track record. 

 

“No! I love listening to you, but I do know quite a bit about most human holidays, you know? Your experiences are interesting, but the historical part, I know already. You seemed to like talking about it though, and I like it when you have fun, so I let you talk. M’sorry that I zoned out a bit, though.” The Doctor smiled sheepishly. “You can keep going! I’ll listen this time.”

 

Yaz smiled at her. “I like listening to you talk too, y’know. But if you’re too distracted right now, we don’t have to do this. Especially if you already know everything about it, somehow. You could’ve said something, you know.” 

 

“I don’t know  _ everything _ . I don’t know about your valentines! I swear I’ll pay attention!” The Doctor said childishly. 

 

Yaz hesitated. “I, um, haven’t really had many, you know. Kinda need a good relationship for that. Haven’t really had a chance.” She smiled nervously. 

 

“Oh, don’t worry about that, you’ve got plenty of time! Wait, that sounded a bit condescending, didn’t it. Sorry. You know what I mean. You’re amazin’!” Despite her cheerful tone, the Doctor sighed internally. She had never been good at talking about feelings. Even less so with pretty human girls. Well. 

 

Yaz blushed. “Thanks. Um, Doctor? Have  _ you _ had valentines before?” The Doctor’s face fell, and Yaz tried to back up. “Or not, you don’t have to, I just thought, since you know so much and everything, maybe you’d have some good stories, but it’s okay, don’t worry, pretend I didn’t say anything.”

 

The Doctor sighed. It’s not that she didn’t want to tell  _ Yaz _ about her past, she just didn’t want to talk about it with, well, anyone. Not yet, at least. What she really didn’t want, however, was to make Yaz feel bad about asking. The Doctor had expected her to get curious at some point, as she had made a point of not sharing much about herself (to protect them, she tells herself), but she hadn’t prepared for this specific scenario. 

 

“It’s okay, Yaz. You meant well, I just, I can’t talk about this. Maybe one day. I’m trying to be more about living in the present, these days. Maybe. Depends how it works out, I guess. But, I have had Valentines before. They’re all gone, though. So it’s a bit hard to talk about them.” 

 

In an effort to lighten the mood — and to stop Yaz from looking at her like she couldn’t decide whether to hug her or pity her — the Doctor stood up suddenly and licked her finger as if to find where the wind was coming from. “Well! Seems like it’s gotten pretty late, you should probably get some sleep, Yaz, big day tomorrow! Don’t know what we’re gonna do but I’m sure I’ll find something!”, she said as she walked towards the door, holding it open for Yaz to walk through. 

 

As she left to go to her bedroom, Yaz stopped by the Doctor. “Maybe we could do this again, sometimes. Do you already know loads about April Fools’?” Yaz asked with a teasing smile.

 

“Maybe? You can still tell me about it if you want. But now go to sleep! Can’t have have a tired Yaz while we’re out tomorrow, can we?” The Doctor replied, ushering her out.

 

Yaz paused before leaving. “Good night, Doctor.” Somehow, it seemed like she meant more than that. Yaz moved as if to hug her, but reconsidered. She knew that wasn’t what the Doctor needed. The Doctor nodded. “Good night, Yaz”, she replied, but she couldn’t quite hold the girl’s gaze. Either by kindness or sleepiness, Yaz allowed her to pretend she was alright and walked away. 

 

When Yaz turned the corner, the Doctor closed the door and slumped against it. Now, she had to think of something extra distracting for the next day. That should occupy her for a few hours, at least.


	2. i know it’s hard to feel carefree in this new world of absurdity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "21st blitheday" from let's make a music!
> 
> it's ryan's turn!
> 
> also thanks so much for being so nice about the first chapter!! love you all <3

 

“So yeah, we’re on this alien planet, right, and this giant bear comes runnin’ at us! Like, it’s huuuge and I guess not really a bear but sorta and I thought maybe that was it! But then something grabs me and all of a sudden I’m in a whole different place!”

 

Ryan was in the games room when the Doctor bursted in, making him yelp in surprise.

“Ryan! There you are, we’re getting ready to go to Barcelona the planet!” The Doctor finally seemed to look at what was going on, making her pause. “What are you doing?”

 

“I’m making a video for my youtube channel! But that can wait, are we already there?” Ryan said as he got up to turn off his camera.

 

“For your youtube channel”, the Doctor repeated slowly. That… could be bad news, if the wrong people found it.

 

“Yeah, you know, youtube? You upload videos and people watch them and stuff? Do you not know it?” Ryan asked, clearly passionate about the topic. “I’ve been making these for a few months, I’ve got almost 200 views!”

 

The Doctor hesitated. One one hand, this was not a good idea and she should tell Ryan to stop talking about their adventures online. On the other, this seemed like a fun way to relax after an adventure. And he seemed like he was having enjoying himself. She could probably tell him not to upload them later. So why not have some fun with it? 

 

“Oh… What do you… do on there?” she asked, trying to seem like she didn’t know anything about the internet. “People watch you talk?”

 

“Yeah, sorta, I talk about some topic and they watch and tell me what they think and stuff. I’ve been telling stories about our adventures in stuff, they’re so mad I have to talk about them! And like, that’s all I’ve been up to really, so that’s mainly what I have to tell.” He explained. Suddenly, his face brightened. “Wait, when we come back, do you wanna do a challenge? They’re really funny!”

 

“Sure! But,” she paused, looking up at the ceiling, listening to her ship, “we have to go, Yaz and Graham are in the console room and apparently your grandad has begun touching some buttons. Better go stop him before he teleports us somewhere he shouldn’t!” She promptly walked out, leaving a grinning Ryan behind.

 

* * *

 

  
  


Despite being tired from a long day of running around in Barcelona, Ryan found himself almost vibrating with excitement as he looked through the kitchen cupboards. Obviously, he wouldn’t suggest actually dangerous challenges, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t get rowdy. He smiled as he found the marshmallows and added them to his pile of supplies. The Doctor had gone to bring Yaz some tea a few minutes ago, so he still had a bit to prepare, since she usually got distracted around Yaz. With that thought, he started to place the ingredients on the table.

  
  
  
  


After spending almost 15 minutes wasting time on his phone, Ryan finally heard the kitchen door open. “Sorry! Got carried away a little bit, but I’m here now!” The Doctor said, before noticing the food on the table. “Oh, what’s  _ this _ ?” She asked, pointing at the cinnamon.

 

“Challenge supplies! Hope you’re ready, because this is gonna get intense. First, we’re gonna do the chubby bunny challenge. S’pretty simple, you just put a marshmallow in your mouth and try to say “chubby bunny”, and if you can do it, you add one and try again, until you can’t anymore.” He turned on the camera and invited the Doctor to sit next to him. “Ready?” He handed her a marshmallow.

 

“Yes.” Oh, seems like this regeneration has a bit of a competitive spirit. She quickly put the marshmallow in her mouth. “Chubby bunny. Oh, that’s easy!”

 

“Wait until you have like, 5 or 6 in there, that’s when it get tough. But now it’s my turn!”

 

They kept going until the Doctor finally gave up with 11 marshmallows in her mouth. Ryan had long since given up, when he almost choked on his fifth marshmallow. He’d practically had to force the Doctor to stop, because she insisted that she could still say the phrase. 

 

“Don’t take it personally Ryan, it’s not your fault you lost! Time Lords, we’re just really good at adapting to most things, so I’m just really good at lots of things!” She said, smiling.

 

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Are you really saying your species give you an advantage at putting marshmallows in your mouth? Nevermind, don’t answer. Let’s do another one: cinnamon challenge. I’ll even be nice and let you do it first.” Ryan said, although, to be honest, he was not planning on trying this again. He’d done it once, when it was really popular, and he’d thought he was gonna die. “Shouldn’t be a problem for you, since you’re so superior and all.” He checked the camera was still on. Didn’t wanna miss that, if only to laugh at it later. 

 

As he was preparing the cinnamon however, Yax walked in, an empty cup of tea in her hands. She stopped in her tracks when she realized what they were about to do. “Ryan, what’s going on? The cinnamon challenge’s dangerous! You could really mess up your lungs!” Ryan looked up, a guilty smile on his face, before putting the cinnamon back in the container and closing it. 

 

The Doctor looked up at Yaz, confused. “What? We’re just havin’ fun! I’m sure I can do it, you know, I’m very good at these things!” 

 

“I’m sure you are, Doctor, but I don’t wanna risk you passing out because your lungs are full of spice. Ryan, is this for your youtube channel?” She turned towards his camera. “Were you gonna post this on the internet?”

 

“It’s for fun! And the Doctor wanted to know about my channel, right Doctor?” Ryan said, as he turned to her for support.

 

“... It’s definitely fun, yeah, for sure. Though, by the way, you can’t post that anywhere and you should delete any video where you talk about aliens, just to be sure.” The Doctor smiled, vaguely uncomfortable. She didn’t like to take sides when it came to companions. 

 

“Wait, what? D’you already know about this stuff? And what do you mean delete them? Who cares if I talk about aliens, there’s way weirder stuff out there!” Ryan exclaimed.

 

“Doctor, did you pretend you didn’t know something again?” Yaz asked, looking pointedly at the Doctor. She at least looked a little guilty, although the mess of marshmallows next to her undermined it. 

 

“Look, whether or not I know something is irrelevant!” Her companions exchanged an exasperated look. “Yaz! I put 11 marshmallows in my mouth! I totally won the chubby bunny challenge!”

 

Ignoring her attempt at impressing their friend, Ryan turned off his camera and looked at the Doctor. “You know, you can just tell me you know stuff. I’d feel less ridiculous afterwards.”

 

“Oh no, Ryan, you’re not ridiculous! Helps keeping me grounded, you know, hearing from your point of view! But I  _ have  _ been around a bit, even on the internet. And there’s some people who try to track me, sometimes, so putting too much info on there is not the best idea. You can keep making videos if you like, just don’t post them. M’sorry, it’s just to be safe.” The Doctor put her hands in her pockets, hoping Ryan wouldn’t be angry. She had to protect her companions, and she was already putting them in harm’s way by bringing them with her, the least she could do was keep them safe when they went home. 

 

Ryan sighed. “It’s fine. Can we do challenges again sometimes?” Yaz shot him a look. “Safe ones! I promise!”

 

“Definitely! Good way to chill after a long day. Um. Nope, not loving “chill”. Well, we should clean up, I think. Unless you wanna try the chubby bunny thing, Yaz?” she asked hopefully.

 

“No thank you, I was just bringing this back,” she raised her mug before putting in the sink, “I don’t wanna get involved in this. Have fun cleaning up though!” Yaz said, and left the kitchen.

 

Ryan and the Doctor looked at each other, then the state of the kitchen. The Doctor rolled up her sleeves. “Let’s get started then.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just realized that it would've really funny to title this with something from "proud egg mouth" but also that song is so specific and all possible lyrics mentions eggs. i wouldn't put it past the doctor to try to put 6 whole eggs in her mouth though.
> 
> also next chapter has my favourite title. idk when i'm gonna finish it though, hopefully this week? but also it's midterms time so that's gonna go first


	3. i can't wait to bribe a man for some ice cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graham just wants to bake a cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i had some trouble with this chapter but also i was kinda busy with school so it took longer than i hoped. it's also a bit longer than i expected! i am going away for a week this weekend so i'm probably not gonna get a lot of writing done. i'll finish this for sure though!
> 
> chapter title from "rainbow trout eggs" from let's make a music

 

“Hey Doc, you ever cook in here?”

 

The Doctor stopped chewing and looked down at her plate of custard cream biscuits, then back up at Graham. He chuckled. “Guess not, huh? D’you think the TARDIS could get some ingredients for me? Not that I don’t like trying alien food, usually, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal, you know?”

 

“Oh well, I’m sure the TARDIS would be able to provide whatever you need for that. Just, uh, ask her.”

 

“Just ask?” He looked up at the ceiling. “Hi, I’d like to bake a cake, can you help?” he asked, then waited for a moment. The Doctor smiled as she felt the ship’s amusement at the request. To be fair, it had been a while since she’d been asked anything of the sort. The Doctor had learned to cook, in another lifetime, but she’d gotten bored with it quite quickly. Especially since she usually didn’t have recipes. Still, she had rarely needed a fire extinguisher.

 

Graham, unaware of the conversation between the Doctor and her ship, looked disappointed at the apparent lack of reaction at his request. “Look in the cupboards, Graham. Should find all you need.” the Doctor told him.

 

“Oh, thanks Doc.” The lights flickered. “And thank you!” Graham added, smiling at the ceiling. He then started to take out the ingredients necessary for his cake. As he got ready, the Doctor observed him with curiosity. It _had_ been a few years since she’d made anything in the kitchen, what with staying on Earth and all, but she seemed to recall it having a calming effect on her. Maybe it would still be effective.

 

As interested in baking as Graham was, he did eventually notice her staring. “Wanna help? I haven’t gotten around to baking with Ryan yet, maybe I can practice my teaching on you. There are worst ways to spend an afternoon.”

 

The Doctor shot up. Calming, yes, but mostly a distraction. Distractions are good. Especially with Graham. Away from… anyone who might be occupying her thoughts. And cakes are good, right?

 

“Yes! I’d love that Graham!” She took out a bowl and started measuring flour. “What kind of icing are we using? Can we use chocolate?” she asked, practically bouncing from excitement by the time she’d reached the end of her thought. Graham chuckled.

“Sure. Gotta make the cake first, though. Let’s start with the dry ingredients.” He guided her through most of the steps, but Graham had a sense he wasn’t so much teaching her as keeping her focused on what she was doing. He’d be halfway through a sentence and she’d already be done with the step he was talking about. He smiled to himself.

 

“I, uh, I’ll go tell the kids about the cake, alright? Just check on it while it’s in the oven so it doesn’t burn.” She nodded, a focused look on her face. She was sitting in front of the oven, looking in through the window as if she would miss something by looking away. She didn’t even react when she heard Graham leave the room, the top of the cake slowly becoming golden capturing all her attention.

 

One thing Graham didn’t account for, however, was the TARDIS’s oven. Despite its appearance, which resembled 21st century ovens, it was much more powerful, and thus cooked faster. And although the Doctor _did_ know this fact, it was somewhat buried in her mind, from lack of use. And so, she found her mind drifting off, expecting the baking to take at least long enough for Graham to come back before it burned.

 

With her friend gone and the active part of baking over, the Doctor found herself lacking distractions. Usually, she’d go and find something to fix (or, break and _then_ fix), but she had to stay by the oven, limiting her options. Maybe she could try counting the seconds until Graham came back?

 

Nope, too boring! What else… Well, she was running out of options, wasn’t she?

 

The Doctor started tapping on the oven window and she remembered the previous night. She had noticed Yaz’s… affection for her quickly, but she had yet to decide what to do, or not do, about it. She would most likely have to say something eventually, no matter what, if only to spare Yaz’s feelings before she realized what a relationship with an alien would entail. That would be the selfless thing to do, she supposed.

 

However, as much as she tried to avoid it, the Doctor could be selfish, from time to time. And, well, this wouldn’t be cruel, or cowardly, really it would bring Yaz happiness, if anything. At least for some time, until it broke her heart.

 

The Doctor felt the TARDIS poke at her mind. The ship was not shy when it came to expressing her disapproval, and any self-deprecating line of thought was unacceptable were rarely acceptable for her. In this case, the TARDIS was feeling even more strongly than usual, as she had taken a shine to Yaz. In fact, the Doctor had a feeling the ship might side with Yaz instead of her, if they had an argument. Wouldn’t be the first time she preferred one of her “strays” to the Doctor.

 

The TARDIS nuzzled the Doctor’s mind again, this time with love and comfort. She’d encouraged the Doctor to “spend time” with Yaz before, and had even made every door but the one to Yaz’s bedroom disappear in hopes of making them talk to each other, but she had underestimated the Doctor’s stubbornness. She had since given up on forcing the Doctor to act on her feelings, but she kept suggesting it every time she had the opportunity. The TARDIS was firmly in the camp of enjoying _any_ time the Doctor might get to spend with someone, even though she knew what the consequences might be.

 

She could be just as dangerous as her thief, sometimes.

 

The Doctor sighed. There weren’t many options, really, and she’d already chosen what to do. This whole… debate was only because she wanted to pretend that, somehow, she was more responsible than she was. Something left over from Gallifrey, probably.

 

The Doctor was abruptly brought back to reality when an alarm started blaring, making her jump. Her eyes flickered up to the cake, which was looking suspiciously dark.

 

“Oh! Oh no, no no no…” The Doctor mumbled, her panic growing when she heard Graham coming back with Ryan and Yaz. The alarm had stopped as soon as the TARDIS had gotten her attention, but that had not done much to calm her down. The Doctor looked at the doorway, then back at the burnt cake, and next thing she knew, she was standing with her back to the closed kitchen door.

 

“Don’t come in! I’m…” What _was_ she doing? “Naked?” They wouldn’t come in if they thought she was naked, right?

 

“No you’re not!” she heard Ryan shout. “I saw you run to the door!”

 

“Everything okay, Doc?” Graham teased. “It smells kinda burnt.”

 

She had _one_ job! The Doctor sighed, defeated, and turned to open the door. She was a grown-up, she knew how to admit to her mistakes. She started opening the door. “Does it?” Yaz rolled her eyes and the Doctor opened the door all the way. “So, I may or may not have gotten distracted — Ryan! Don’t laugh! — and the cake may be a little more baked than desired. Sorry.” She avoided Graham’s gaze.

 

“Oh, Doc, it’s fine! Don’t worry, we’ll just make another one. And maybe you two can help, yeah?” Graham pointedly looked at Ryan and Yaz, before giving the Doctor a reassuring smile.

 

The Doctor felt her anxiety ease slightly at Graham’s reaction. She grinned at her companions, watching them as they divided tasks.

 

‘Oh! I know what happened!” She ignored the confused looks she received, her usual energetic demeanour coming back. “44th century oven! Much more efficient than 21st century ones, cuts baking time by at least half! Should’ve remembered, really, but anyway, that’s why it burned! Not my fault!” She exclaimed, as if she was winning something. Both Graham and Ryan chuckled before going back to baking, but the Doctor’s attention was captured by Yaz. She was looking at the alien with a mixture of amusement and something close to adoration in her eyes. The Doctor couldn’t stop herself from returning the smile, entranced by by the warmth emanating from Yaz’s smile.

“Hey, Doctor, can you figure out how long it’ll take to bake with this oven?” Ryan’s question reminded the Doctor of the task at hand. There’d be time for Yaz later, hopefully.

 

“Yep! Just gotta calculate some stuff, can you tell me exactly how much of each ingredient you used so I can calculate their molecular mass?"

 

Ryan sighed, then tried to answer her question, ignoring the other two companion's laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i originally wanted to somehow include ice cream to link it with the title but that didnt happen lol. still, you know, cake and ice cream are both food so, that counts?
> 
> also, fun fact, ive always been terrible at proof reading and re-reading myself in general, but for some reason thats not a problem with this? so im finally learning not to hate my own writing, yay!
> 
> thanks for reading <3


	4. and if I stay here, my heart will explode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang has a day out, feelings happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! im back! had a bit of a writer's block. hopefully that's over, though the end of the semester is basically here so i gotta write some ~essays~ before i work on this too much. 
> 
> also this chapter is mostly from yaz's pov for some reason? idk, it just happened. 
> 
> chapter title from "discarded in the thicket behind outback steakhouse" from let's make a music.

“Hey, Doctor, what kind of festival did you say this was?”

 

“Spring festival, Ryan! All about renewal, and life, and bright colours! Best kind of festival!”

 

Yaz had asked to go somewhere fun — and safe — to learn about an alien culture, so a festival had seemed like a good idea. The fact that this specific spring festival the Doctor had chosen was  _ also _ a love festival was a total coincidence. 

 

“There’s a lot of couples here—oh, okay, go ahead.” Graham started, before being interrupted by an alien person putting an intricate flower garment over his shoulders. The Doctor hand waved away his comment, before excitedly reaching for her own flowers. She then turned to Yaz, grinning. Yaz smiled softly at the Doctor and gave her a thumbs up, clearly endeared with the Time Lord’s enthusiasm. 

 

“Look, the parade’s starting!” Ryan pointed at the first carriage. It was covered in blue and green flowers ornaments, with people acting out some scene that, apparently, most of the audience recognized. Still, the humans appreciated the artistry. It was followed by a dozen other carriages, each more beautiful and colourful than the other, before the parade concluded with a sort of fireworks that shot out flowers instead of fire.

 

The gang found themselves covered in flowers, as were most people in attendance. While Ryan and Graham had no problem dusting them off, the Doctor and Yaz were slower to do so. As if in their own bubble, the Doctor shook of the one on her own head, before slowly removing those covering Yaz’s. She then picked the nicest one and gently placed it above Yaz’s ear, a focused look on her face. 

 

Yaz was doing her best not to blush, with little success. Once the Doctor was satisfied with her work, she stood back, admiring it. She nodded, smiling, and turned to walk back up to the boys. Yaz stood for a second, frozen, before joining her, willing her heart to regain a normal pace.

 

* * *

 

The group was walking amongst vendors, someone getting distracted every few minute by something shiny or some food item on a table. As they walked, Yaz had found it impossible to ignore the warmth spreading from her hand, as the Doctor was currently holding it. She had simply grabbed it to avoid being separated when the crowd got a bit intense, and hadn’t let go. Yaz had not wanted to mention it, on the off-chance it would make the Doctor let go. However, she hadn’t been able to ignore the looks Ryan were giving her. He would totally tease her about this later.

 

For now, though, she would enjoy being close to the Doctor. 

 

And being pulled towards… something? She couldn’t quite see what was happening, but apparently everyone wanted to look. 

 

“What exactly are we looking at?” She asked the Doctor, finding herself almost whispering the question into her ear as more people joined the group.

 

“I think they’re getting married! You know, here weddings are very public and open to everyone, not just family. It’s a way of proving their love, I think. Oh, and it’s good luck to do it during the Spring festival, too! This is great!” She was on her tiptoes now, looking over at the happy couple. “Do you wanna see? You can climb up on my back!”

 

“Oh, um, no it’s okay! I can see! Thanks, though.” Yaz did not think she could survive being this close to the Doctor. She tried not to wince at the shadow of disappointment that passed on the Doctor’s face, but it was quickly replaced with her usual cheerful expression as the couple said their vows. Yaz’s eyes lingered on her face for a second. It would be fine.

 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud cheer as the completed the ceremony. Somehow, it seemed like their love was being shared with everyone around them. Every single person in sight was radiating affection for the couple, even though Yaz doubted they all knew them personally. People were throwing flower petals at the couple, yellow, red, orange, and some colours Yaz wasn’t sure she’d ever seen before. 

 

Seeing everyone celebrate warmed her heart. She looked at the Doctor and, all at once, she understood why she kept travelling, and why she kept hope.

 

* * *

 

Back on the TARDIS, the Doctor was quick to send her companions away to rest, citing an exhausting day of walking around and another adventure awaiting them soon enough. Yaz rolled her eyes but followed Ryan to the gaming room, knowing she would not be able to avoid his questions about the Doctor. 

They sat down and started playing Mario Kart, idly discussing some thing or another they’d seen during the day. After losing for the second time in a row, Yaz sighed.

“Alright, ask me.”

“Are you  _ sure _ you’re not secretly dating? You two looked like a couple today! I mean, you held hands for most of the day…” Ryan raised his eyebrows, curious.

“No! She just… does that! It doesn’t mean anything, not like that.” Yaz hesitated. “Look, she’s an alien. She probably just doesn’t understand what those things mean.”

“Come on, do you really think she doesn’t know that holding hands and  _ putting a flower in your hair _ is romantic? She knows humans, Yaz!” Ryan’s tone was not mean, but he was firm. Yaz closed her eyes. 

“Then why would she do all this and never say anything?”

“I’m not sure she knows how to do that part. You know how she never really talks about her life? She’s more closed off than she seems.” Ryan smiled softly. “But, it’s obvious she cares about you, _ a lot _ , and if you made a move…”

“Don’t. What would I even do?”

Ryan grinned. “Oh, I don’t think you’d have to be that creative…” 

“Ryan!” Yaz threw a pillow at him and he hid his laughter behind it. Yaz stayed serious for a second before joining him, the two of them giggling for a few minutes. 

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, one of you better figure something out before I have to do it for you.”

* * *

Maybe she should listen to her ship more often.

The Doctor was standing by Yaz’s bedroom, trying to figure out what she was going to say. The lights flickered a few times and she felt the TARDIS encourage her. Finally, she took a deep breath and knocked on Yaz’s door. As she waited a few seconds for an answer, she contemplated running back to the console room, but she was faced with Yaz before she had time to move. 

“Is everything alright Doctor? I thought we were done with activities for today?”

The Doctor took a second to answer, as she was distracted by Yaz looking even more adorable than usual in her pyjamas.

“Everything’s great! We are, I was just wondering if we could talk?”

“Um, yeah, come in,” Yaz moved aside to let her in, then went to sit on her bed. She patted the spot next to her and the Doctor nervously sat down.

“Did you like the festival? ‘S one of my faves, everyone’s so lovely, it’s a great time.”

“Of course!,” Yaz exclaimed. “Did you say it was a spring festival? With all the flowers…”

“Ah, well, sort of spring festival, in a way. Really, it‘s kind of a week-long Valentine’s Day. Big celebration of love.” 

Yaz nodded. This was an opportunity. “And you chose that specific one… for me?”

“Well, yeah, had to choose something special for Yaz!” The Doctor replied quickly. She paused. “I wanted you to have a good time. With me.” She avoided Yaz’s gaze, her discomfort with feelings creeping in. 

“I did. Thank you,” Yaz smiled. “And if you wanted to go to another one of these festivals, maybe without the boys this time, I would love that.”

They grinned at each other.

“Oh, it’s a date then.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was too early for Ryan to be awake. He’d reached the kitchen and was attempting to piece together something resembling breakfast when Yaz came in. 

“Good morning!”

Ryan slowly turned towards her. “You are  _ way  _ too happy for the morning. What is going on?” He looked at her suspiciously. “Should I be worried?”

“No! Why would you have to worry?”

Ryan was about to answer when the Doctor walked in the kitchen, casually dropping a kiss on Yaz’s cheek before sitting at the table and fiddling with the toaster. He blinked, his mouth half open. “What?”

Yaz blushed. “Do  _ not _ start.” She stepped closer to him, checking that the Doctor wasn’t listening. “We… talked last night so, you know, you won’t have to ‘make a move’ for me or anything.”

“You ‘talked’ huh?” Yaz glared at him, so he put up his hands in defeat. “For real, I’m glad you two figured it out. Don’t think I’m gonna stop teasing you though.”

Yaz rolled her eyes. “Thank you.”

The pair jumped as they heard a small explosion coming the table where the Doctor was sitting.

“Whoops! Sorry gang, that was  _ not  _ supposed to explode. Um. I hope nobody wanted toast.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who knows how to end chapters??? not me!
> 
> hope u liked it! see u soon i hope!

**Author's Note:**

> am i writing this in part because i wanted to see if i could only use let's make a music lyrics for the titles? maybe? so???
> 
> i actually have an outline of sorts for this and im into it so i should finish it! dont expect long chapters (like, longer than this) tho, if it happens it happens but i have no idea how this is gonna go. 
> 
> im having fun! wild!
> 
> see u next time <3


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